Complex Dynamics

Abandonment by our adult children is endemic in society globally.

Alienation is willful intimidation. It is mind control within the family. 

Alienation is a planned destruction of a child’s right to a loving relationship with their grandparents.

GA involves unresolved childhood issues, neuro-linguistic programming (gaslighting), pathological lying, manipulation, brainwashing, cult-like thinking, and personality disorders including narcissistic personality disorder, borderline personality disorder, and delusional disorder.

Grandparents own adult children have turned against them, leaving a huge, unimaginable hole in their hearts. The lifelong, loving relationship they had with their son or daughter is now broken. They no longer recognize their own son’s and daughter’s behaviors. Our older population is trying to cope with their torment, grief, and anger. They are bewildered, wondering if the relationship they once had will ever exist again, as they harbor the fear of losing them forever.

Severing the grandparent, great-grandparent, and grandchild relationship not only hurts the grands, but the children as well. Some grandparents have bonded with their grandchildren, only to have that love connection eventually denied.  Some grandparents have never met their grandchildren. When a watchful eye is needed for children in harm’s way, grandparents should be allowed the right to visit.

Abuse is never acceptable; abuse is never okay. Abuse is against the law. 

As a victim of another person’s malicious and devious plan, a Human Tragedy has resulted in the lives of grandparents and grandchildren. The unjustified, abusive, and controlling behavior of our adult children is creating a lifetime of emotional problems for our grandchildren.  The middle generation is role-modeling alienation, which is frequently multi-generational.

Grandparents are the victims of their adult children, who use the grandchildren as pawns.  The grandchildren are being withheld with little or no provocation. The grandparents and great-grandparents are kept from playing a vital role in the child’s life. Grandparents worry about the impact this cut-off will have on their precious little ones. Who can these grandchildren turn to with this chaos in their lives?  They must go underground with their emotions. 

GA is complicated grief…grief without closure. There is no closure because there is continued hope and desire for improvement. There is a physical absence with the psychological presence.

As we age, we encounter a host of physically challenging and often debilitating problems. Nothing compares, however, with the unmitigated sorrow that we carry in our hearts.  The acute, progressive, and overwhelming consequence of being cut off from our cherished grandchildren is the feeling of helplessness and worthlessness.  Stress manifests itself in countless cases of illnesses, namely (but not limited to) migraine headaches, high blood pressure, gastrointestinal disorders, sleep disorders, obesity, PTSD, TMJ, anxiety, and depression. Sickness from the stress of alienation is widespread.

Loving parents, who for years supported the needs of their children, envisioned their golden years with a supportive safety net from these now adult children. Instead of support, they now face the often unaddressed, underestimated phenomenon of Grandparent Cut-off.  This tragedy has affected many millions of families worldwide. There are no socio-economic, religious, or educational boundaries.